you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
