i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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