at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
