Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
