I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
