i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
