I'm going to rape someone's good day.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
