My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
