Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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