just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
