if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
