I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
