They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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