I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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