did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
