Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
