Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
