just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I love having hate sex.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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