how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
