He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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