Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
