Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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