He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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