Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
