Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
