is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
