How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
