They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
