I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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