He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
