I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
