i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
