I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
