Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize