new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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