mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Everything about him screamed your future.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
