You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
