We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
