How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
