i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just want to make out with him forever
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
