is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
