I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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