we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
