We're facebook friends in real life
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
