i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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