jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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