perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
