Duck Duck Cougar?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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