It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
