True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
