i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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