Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize