did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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