PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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